Don’t Worry, I am Angry No More

I hope this letter will find its way to you – may that be a day, a month, a week, a year, or a decade. I want you to read this because these are the important lines the made up the songs of my heart since the day you left without notice.

Thank you so much for the moments of our lives that we shared together. I really don’t know where to start as I can’t seem to know what is true and what is not. Let me start however on the belief which you made me believe — on the love that is true, on the commitment that is real, on the existence that is genuine.

To wrap up what has happened it seemed to point in one direction — that somewhere along the way I committed a mistake. I try to retrace the footprints from the day that we first met, but I can’t seem to see where things went wrong.

Maybe I am blind not to spot on it, or maybe it was simply a make-believe reality or fabricated lies by a con artist that wishes to break me apart. Whichever that is, I don’t know. I simply opened my heart to a supposed damsel-in-distress and offered a shelter from her supposed stormy life.

Don’t worry I’m am angry no more.

I am just a token of the circumstances of life, a willing victim to the push and pull of fate. I understand the sometimes my journey must be painful, and my road has to be thorn-full. But whether that be heartaches or pain, sadness or tears, desperation or distress, and tiresome or wearisome, I know for as long as I’m in the will of the Author of Life, I know I’m in the best road of my life.

I am not angry because I knew I have given you the love that you deserved, the loyalty that you seek, and the care that you are entitled to. On the many crossroads of lives, we may meet in the future. I know that by then I can look at you straight in the eyes and say, “I hope by now you have found a love more genuine and pure than what I have given you.”

I am not angry because you voluntarily left, which signals that you are now ready to face the world and strong enough to wage war on the challenges that once defeated you.

I am not angry because my conscience tells me that I am clear of guilt and that I am still standing tall on life — not a value was taken, not a worth stripped off. I am not afraid of the backlash because I am not afraid to fail. I build my life on the bricks of failures while learning each of every lesson that each represents.

I am not angry because having you prove that I am capable of loving beyond what my eyes can see, beyond what my hands can touch, beyond what my arms can embrace. For that, it tells me what kind of heart I have now than before.

I am not angry because you are not my choice, but it’s fate and destiny that paved the crossroads of our lives. I bet on a relationship I knew that is heading towards countless uncertainties. But I know, amid the many failures, I would strike a luck somewhere and somehow — to find the kind of love that fits the heart that I wear, to find the person who can love me somehow beyond the glories of the world.

Thus, I am not afraid to fail, and I’m willing to fail for thousands and thousands of times if that what it takes to find my destiny. I will search for her through a thousand worlds and 10,000 lifetimes until I find her.

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