From swiping Tinder, scrolling Facebook, or setting up bad date after bad date, finding a partner can be a painstaking process. But the effort of tracking down someone compatible can be insignificant when compared to sustaining a relationship.
My relationship is far from perfection. It is filled with patches of mistakes. But we fought and won the daring influence of insecurities. We invest on trust to sustain our relationship. We extend the tolerance of our patience. This is because we want it to survive.
Alignment of Expectation
For a relationship to survive, both partners must agree in what is right for both of you. Both must define your common values. Mismatched expectations killed more relationships than the holocaust.
In the past, our mistakes have cost us a lot – time, money, trust. However, drifted by the pains of our blunder, we chose options that will always favor our family and not in our individual interests.
It makes a big difference to feel that the two of you are a team. Commit to be the supporting protagonist, not the chiding antagonist, of the weakness of your partner. Make sure that where one is weakest, the other is ready to help.
Observe and practice your time-honored ways of winding up with each other – may that be cooking together, hugging each other, or travelling together.
I screwed up for so many times. But I always find her extending her helping hand to get me back up and rise again. If it’s not love, I don’t know what it is.
In heated conflict, avoid constantly gnashing your teeth or grinding your heels for revenge. You don’t have the power to change what has happened, but you have the power to make a new positive start.
Do not use your partner’s mistakes as weapon to disarm her. Instead, use them as opportunities to strengthen your love. After all, the sweetest of love happens when someone sheltered us on the worst storms of our lives.
Adopt the sweet surrender protocol. Say “Okay, you win” or “Okay, let’s try it your way” in exchange of a kiss, hug, or cuddle. Remember, in a relationship, it is fatal to glorify a victory when your partner is at the losing end.