He was only five days old when I first whispered to his ears, “Anak, help me get through with this cross.”
I am referring on how to raise him. I am jobless at that time. I know I made the right decision in taking him into my life. But I am clueless on how to start the journey.
I could never forget how he beamed with smile as if telling me, “Don’t worry, Dad, we’re gonna be fine.”
I simply do not know if I have the strength to face, fight, sustain and win this battle. It was a hard war.
It was not a period free from heartaches and tears. But it’s the most memorable and treasurable of all – seeing him grow under my tutelage and slowly reflecting my person to his being.
He was not a perfect child from perfect parents. Beyond his parent’s misgivings, mistakes and misfortunes, we decided to shield him under the refuge of a home filled with love and care. Above all, he grows seeing our faith in God.
A year-and-half towards our journey, my savings depleted. I decided to get a job. I told him, “Anak, Dad needs to get a job. Can you help me pray find a job?” He closed his eyes and mumbled, “Papa Jesus, can you give Dad a job?”
That very day, I get a call from my former boss inviting me to join her in a newly-built company. It always breaks me to tears how he presents our needs to God and give Him reason why we are worth such.
Although he is too young, it has become a norm for me to share my plans to him. Although its beyond his understanding, I discussed my future directions with him. We kneeled and prayed together.
More than collusion of circumstances, I believed someone in heaven is listening to our every plea. Every whisper of prayer, I feel that the heaven is listening to our every request.
I enjoyed the role of fatherhood more than anything else. Although I have the options of building relationship to whoever I want, I settled to be a Dad for good.
I am 40 years old. Instead of continuing my quest for love, I settled to nurture my love for my son and the life that he will have in the future. I failed so many times – as a son, lover, boyfriend, or as professional. Nevertheless, I don’t want to become a failure being a father to him.
I enjoy the blessings of life including the challenges the come with it. We got beyond our wants. We are living beyond our needs. Part of it is maybe because I worked hard. But most of it is because I have the ears of an angel listening to the very plea of my heart.